8 alternative facts you need to know
In light of alleged misreports of the media on its coverage on President Donald Trump’s inauguration, “alternative facts” have been offered to clarify the inauguration’s “largest audience ever to witness an inauguration. PERIOD”, according to press secretary and communications director, Sean Spicer.
With that said, here are other alternative facts that you need to know to avoid any public embarrassment by the ignorance and stupidity of regular facts.
- A fact is the conclusion of one opinion sounding better than the other
- The Onion news is a real news publication with 100% real facts reporting on real stuff that are really factual.
3. Scientific findings are subjective
4. Symptoms of schizophrenia are the projection of memories of our past lives
5. If no one sees you walk out of a store with an item you didn’t pay for, it’s not considered stealing
6. Star wars is a historical non-fiction
about the prophet Luke Skywalker
7. Dictatorship is tough love,
and its rulers only want the best
for every individual in their nation. PERIOD.
8. The sun is up so long as Trump’s tan is on